Has anyone ever told you that you are beautiful, pretty, gorgeous? Has someone that shares your features been on the cover of a magazine, labeled “Sexiest Woman”, “One of the million most beautiful”, “Hot”, “Flavor of the month” ? Well let me be the first to warn you, “Don’t hold your breath”. I’m not going to waste your time (or mine) attacking the main stream’s idea of beauty that bombards women of color each day, for one simple reason–it doesn’t matter what “they” (whoever “they” happen to be at the moment) think.
Too many women are waiting to be validated by magazines, TV shows, and men. Well, ladies the truth is the only validation you need is your own. Because our society is always about a certain “look”, you may never receive validation–at least not officially. Society may never acknowledge your beauty openly and that is a fact you will have to accept and move on. Unfortunate, but true.
But I promise you, if you keep your eyes and ears open you’ll see that your beauty and exotic (yeah, I meant “exotic”) features are appreciated, even if the masses refuse to admit it. There’s overwhelming evidence–the tanning industry, lip injections, butt implants, braids, etc. How many summers has someone with a gorgeous tan, said with a smile, “I’m almost as brown as you”? They aren’t trying to get “brown as you’, because they find you unattractive.
The world is full of beautiful people. They come in all races, colors, shapes, and sizes. Count yourself among them. Over the past week or so I have come to realize that I am fortunate, because I recognize beauty in so many people–not every one has that–I consider it a gift. I feel sorry for those that can only see beauty in one shade or size.
This week’s beauty tip is this:
Don’t get angry or become bitter because others don’t see your beauty. Bitterness is NOT cute. You need to see it and believe it first. If not you, then who?
Secondly, don’t get angry at people because of their preferences. We all have preferences. And most of us have at one time or another met someone who wasn’t our “type” that had us head over heels.
Thirdly, when someone tries to tell you that you are not beautiful or lovable don’t believe them. The next time that happens, think of a positive example and then say to yourself or out loud, “That is not true!”
I don’t care who “they” are:
A comedian’s lame joke about the texture of your hair–change the channel! He’s probably not that funny anyway and if he is making that type of joke, he probably has the same texture as you (same as his mama, his daughter, and his aunties).
A news report that says most women who look like you will never marry, change the channel–you can get better news somewhere else ( I mean what is the purpose in that statistic anyway? Really, why do they even care, you don’t meet their ideal, you aren’t their target audience, so what’s the real deal behind that –I’ll save that for another post).
A magazine that tells you that all the men that look like you want women who don’t look like you, put it down, turn the page (even if it is a magazine that is supposed to uplift you, champion you, and be all about you).
Whether the negativity is stated outright or implied, you don’t have to stay tuned. Their need for an audience, ratings or sales does not equal fact. Truth be told, if enough of us were to tune out, they’d change their tune.
Acknowledge your own beauty and I promise you, those that can see it will see it when you see it and believe it first. Stop looking around for the answer. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So what do you behold when you see your reflection? Do you see Beauty? You should.