Just last week I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show and as a regular segment Essence Editor, Angela Burt-Murray came on to discuss hot topics. The question was something to the effect of, is church or religious beliefs hindering the black women from finding a mate. Another jab. Well, I listened as they discussed what some women are doing or thinking that limits their dating options and ultimately there chances at marrying. Inevitable the word “dating pool” came up. And it was suggested that some women ditch certain criteria to increase their dating pool.
Oh, if only I’d had a microphone. It’s true that some women, regardless of race or ethnicity are too picky. I mean, if his eyes have to be the exact shade of chestnut, or he has to be precisely, 6’2″ tall, I agree you may need to rethink that. I also had the major laughs of seeing Steve Harvey talk to two women on Oprah last year and I think one of their requirements was that he be able to tango. Laughable? Heartily. But on a serious note, I take issue with the idea of giving up what is important to you, to increase the size of your dating pool.
Divorce courts are full of people who had no standards, no criteria, and plenty of options. I mean if we want to increase the width and depth of our dating pool, we could only require a pulse. Why not include incarcerated men, emotionally unavailable men, men behind on child support, those without dreams or goals. And let’s not forget those whose self-esteem is so low that they need a harem to make them feel like men. I believe they call themselves “players”.
Once I was told by a wife that I was too picky because I wanted a man with a job. She went on and on about how she is putting her hubby through school. Noble, yes. Would I do it? Perhaps. But my initial criteria includes a paycheck. After all, I work and that would be something the two of us have in common. Extenuating circumstances would have to be explained. Being alone is not the same as having the plague. Ask somebody in a bad marriage, they’ll tell you.
Your thoughts? Are our standards really to high?
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