When it comes to getting the things that we want or need, we look for the discounts, low prices, knockoffs, fake and for some, the bootleg. While it’s a good idea to get the most bang for your buck, sometimes we employ this same way of thinking where it costs us the most–our relationships. Too often we settle for the counterfeit: false friends, unfulfilling partnerships and fair-weather friends. Why? Because it looks good. It gives us a false security when we focus on the quantity of relationships instead of the true value added to our lives when we examine the quality of the people we surround ourselves with.
We give new acquaintances the “friend” label long before they’ve proven their worth. We mistake long-term familiarity for BFF’s. Often we don’t want to look too closely at those that are in our lives because we may have to deal with the fact that some of these relationships need to end. Just as we procrastinate with cleaning out our closets, we hold onto the old, worn-out, out-dated, ill-fitted and unflattering relationships to keep the illusion of having an abundance. If we’d evaluate our relationships as we should our wardrobe, we’d find that we need to clear the clutter and only keep those relationships that bring joy, peace, calm, respect, genuinness and confidence to our lives. If that means our friends, BFF’s, work buddies, boyfriends or significant others need to exit our lives, so be it.
Instead of being afraid of a void, perhaps we should welcome the fact that we have made room to invite and accept someone more deserving into our lives. Cutting toxic, unhealthy ties allows us the freedom to be true to ourselves, enjoy the new space in our lives and choose new relationships based on where we are and where we’re going. Which means making sure the people we choose to share our lives with are genuine, authentic and real.